Thursday, January 25, 2007

the tyrant's reign ends with death; the martyr's begins with it


Speak into my good eye.
*
There are those awkward interfamily squabbles that you are both witness to and proximate cause of. I never want to sell a kid down the river – on two or three occasions I’ve ended up defending a kid in my presence as his/her parent(s) go off on all the disappointments that the kid has been dishing out in the family – which doesn’t make things testy so much as it ends in resounding silence. Awkward really isn’t the word but it’ll do.

*
At this date, from this perspective, it seems funny to me that people actually live in Malibu. For some reason I have a hard time accepting that you would have to fill up with gas, buy groceries, and attend to the banalities of life if you reach a certain stratospheric income level. It’s puzzling. On the other hand, it no longer seems to chafe my imagination to conceive of twelve people living in a two bedroom house. I can picture it because I’ve read that story a dozen times in mini-essays and “free writes” and the unexceptional tone smoothed over whatever ruffles gathered at the outset of this experience.

Parent Teacher Conference 1


*
First of all, you get to connect parents with the almost-adults to which they gave birth. Sometimes this is like a moment-of-clarity machine that keeps a steady stream of insight pushing through your brain. Occasionally there are depressing moments, when you realize that there’s a reason the kid’s premonition of the future is so bleak: parents who can’t keep their eyes on you or who invent excuses (lie) in elaborate ways to explain the 60% attendance rate their offspring pulled in the last three months. Other times you hear unexpected compliments from parents of kids you thought hated you with singular intensity. There’s those, too.

*
I am wearing a sweater and it is warm out. I am uncomfortable. Some of the dorm students are playing basketball on the cement court on which I look out from my desk. My friend who works with them says there has been an outbreak of huffing and the kids I see, some of whom I also coach, have the glazed, hyperdecimated look in their eyes. The eyes give everything away.

*
My labtop is broken. Numerous things saved on the labtop are irretrievable. This is a disappointment, to say the least.

*
I did the “teaching outside the box” today with my Honors class: went outside for the last thirty minutes of class and did an exercise in animating inanimate environments (not as difficult/obscure/abstract/hippie-crunchie as you might think). The sky was blue enough to make me wonder how difficult it would be to adjust to being blind. That then became the leading journal topic of the day: Students, if you were disabled, which disability would you most fear? Which would you most accept? Why? How would your life change? Etc. I don’t know if I have answers to half the questions I ask, which is suggestive of a false sense of formative influence that comes with having a miniscule amount of authority to wield.

*
I have a friend who is having a baby. If you are that friend, have you had that baby?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Subsist on purple passages at your own peril


1)

Yesterday I read a book called “The Making of A Chef,” which was about – ahem – the making of a chef at the Culinary Institute of America (CIA), parent institution to the Food and Beverage Institute (FBI). Aside from having a lapidary effect on my ability to scramble eggs, the book made me think about the notion that work reflects character and character determines success. Now I want you to think about it.



2)

quote of the week, courtesy of SE: I just missed the days when the Republicans' main priority was fucking over the poor.

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Thursday, January 11, 2007

questions beget questions


1. Bring the symbolic violence

it’s about that time of year when the semester’s over and I fail a half-dozen kids. This year it might be twice that. Industrial education is irrevocably fucked and there seems to be no way to observe the Hippocratic Oath from within it: letter grades brand kids as of a certain class, and a certain percentage of future possibilities go by that brand. Complicity is all and I really have no truck with spending too much time worrying about it. May get out of education, but not directly because of a high-minded aversion to the System. But I do hope to sleep within the next twenty minutes.

2. Bring the Minutemen

We’re not so punk in drublic as to feel empty when the rotation completely lacks aggressive, simplistic ranting and spontaneous uncritical leftist proclamations, but we do like a little bump now and again and it’s been years since Ritalin or Dexedrine has been a credible option. Hence, the restorative joy that came over us when we happened upon a minutemen mix CD in a stray CD case – no songs, no album titles, and no idea – other than the choruses – what they may be but this is not to detract from the experience in the least.

3. R-Grossman

I know entire theses that tackle Grossman on Coldplay are in the fact-checking stage as I write this, but can you drop a little more acid in my cereal milk when I’m not looking just to give it all a semblance of meaning? If you don’t know, Rex Grossman – a schizophrenic quarterback for the Bears who exudes a strange febrile adolescent quality that simultaneously makes you protective of, and disgusted by, him - filled out a bio sheet and listed Coldplay as his favorite band. You don’t have to be emo to like Coldplay, nor do you have to be gay (in either sense). Anyone across the full range of individual continua that assess decency, aesthetic values, sense-makingness, etc. could potentially echo Grossman on this card. But it’s hard for me to understand how to build a conceptual bridge between foresaid taste for this band and the role of a franchise quarterback. Just not doing it for me.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Consumptive Patterns


in the last four days, here are my tallies: 48 beers (still working on the last 6 as I write this), 75 cigarettes, 16 cups of coffee, 20 hours of sleep, 4 hours of basketball practice, six pay-per-view Ultimate Fighting Championship fights (2 hours sitting on a friend’s couch), 4 meals taken at the local greasy spoon, 3 books read 1 book working on reading.
There is pride in gluttony, but not in the way you might think.
The four books lie on an artistic continuum from regrettable to excellent, and the qualitative content mirrors the amount each cost - $4 (Larry McMurtry’s Boone’s Lick) $7 (David Guterson’s East of the Mountains) $25 (Griel Marcus’s The Shape of Things to Come) $25 (Richard Powers’s Echo Makers). McMurtry is an old Texas scribe with a Stegner fellowship under his belt and a few books that made it into motion pictures. This particular books feels mailed in, though that may have something to do with its author’s advancing age and inability to depart from formulas that preceded the historical reimagining of the American West.
Guterson’s “Snow Falling On Cedars” also made it into film – I read it fervently as a sophomore or junior in high school and allow it to pave my imagination’s notion of the Northwest region’s acquiescence to WWII and interment camps – and “East of the Mountains” is not completely devoid of charm.
This is my first foray into a Marcus book, and the play of surfaces he conjures about American prophecy holds me steadier than I might have expected. Reading him makes me want to reread Gatsby Pequod and Young Goodman Brown, helps me recall the old punk rock shows in the basement of the old man’s association’s headquarters (American Legion? Knights of Columbus?) in my hometown, and allows me to relive the particularly salient moments where I identified – or staunchly refused to identify – with things deemed representatively American.
Powers is a heavyweight about whose work I have commented before – he lays legitimate claim to rightful inheritance of those Big White Males Who Wrote Big Novels And Lie In Waiting for Rightful Heart Stoppage. Of Powers I am a begrudging fan, albeit one who has not quite succumbed to unqualified fandom. He takes the biggest of the big topics on with uncanny virtuoso skill, more directly (read: more accessibly) than a Vollman or a Ben Marcus and deserves kudos all around. I appreciate the craft and the attentive, almost compulsive interest in creating formal resonance, but I am not as moved/engaged/captivated by his work as I imagine his most enthusiastic reviewers suggest I should be. I should say that this judgment does not include response to the current work under question. More on that later.

Boone’s Lick is a mediocre book at best, but it reads reasonably well if you can stomach tepid historical fiction about the Great American Frontier. I read it straight through with a six pack of Bud and four smoke breaks. Gunplay and a search for familial solidarity figure strongly, and the teenage narrator’s innocence and wide-eyed apprehension of the American landscape’s glory touch a nerve that, having been activated, prevents me from regretting the reading experience. I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who’s not amped about long-standing narrative story-telling, but . . . .
Guterson weaves a conventional tale that tries too hard to establish its unconventionality: 73 year old doctor protagonist has cancer (is cancer the new badge of authorial authenticity?) and plans out suicide before succumbing to chance events (car accident, bird hunting expedition that leads him too far astray, Greyhound encounter with sick illegal alien, etc.) that stretch narrative plausibility and the reader’s patience at the same stroke. Not to say there aren’t a few nicely sketched parcels – being partial to Bildungsromans involving hard-working, slightly naïve boys who grow up on a farm and fall for the fetching outsider who’s new to the country, I worked through most of it in a morning hangover with coffee and cigarettes as abetting agents. The prose, even, had its attractive points, but I’m a sucker, and I occupy a societal position that accedes to long periods of reading without particularly trenchant purposes, so do with it what you will.

I write this now a day later, New Year’s Eve, and allow that passage of time (and the 200 pages of Powers I’ve read today) to help explain retraction of the earlier suggestion that Powers is all brain and no heart. “The Echo Maker” is a nominee for the National Book Award, and though I have little to gauge the relevance of such accolade-thrusting, I am not surprised by it after finishing the book. I’m not much of a reviewer, but I can call on the tools of the trade here without conscientious objection: fully realized characters, prose that reads impeccably line-by-line, an extremely satisfying exploration of the idea of the self – its porosity, its impossible-to-limn realness, its back and forth cross-sectioned vulnerability, and so on (again: more on this later), and a narrative that draws the reader in and holds her suffocatingly close. There was a late surprise turn in the plot that unfolded without the strenuousness one usually ascribes to late surprise turns; it also had the edifying effect of clarifying some of the main themes I found in the novel.
It feels like I’m cheating when I say that the main theme is the nature of the self, so I’ll compromise a bit and say that the main theme is exploring the different narrative modes we employ when thinking about the nature of the self, both in the abstract (what is a human?) and in the immediate concrete (who the fuck I am and how the fuck do I relate to the smiling little lad in that picture?). Powers has a particular affinity with structural overlap between macroplot occurrences and internal character conflict – the big picture of what happens “echoes with” (sometimes in consonance, sometimes in dissonance) minor realizations that characters have about themselves and the world in which they live.