Minor Threat in the morning, Marvin Gaye in the evening

1) the Big Boss Man of my workplace recently returned from a little time in the Dominican Republic. He came back with Cuban cigars and two liqueur-filled coconuts from which each employee was instructed to take a shot. He derided and cajoled everyone who displayed reluctance, including an intern fresh out of high school. I work in Fantasyland, and I just wanted you to know that.

2) There are people in my online class who insist on applying every reading to Michael Jackson’s current situation. Someone commented on the psychological pressures a child star endures, and someone else responded with the admission that she herself had just ended a serious relationship with a child star who did in fact exhibit many maladaptations as a result of the psychological pressures he accrued from age 5 to 17. Bottom line: I wish there was an email function by which you could deliver a right cross. Education as a field is for bottom-feeders. And I am one of them.

3) Pitchers and catchers are scheduled to start doing what they do – soon the day will come when I look forward to turning on the square projector of images. True or false: Giambi is to Jeter this year as Vladi was to Magic the year of the Running Over to Get Hugged with Hands behind Back Championship? This of course implies that Jeter has an autoimmune disorder, which is not true. So. We are left with hoping for lots of beards and Doug of the Last Name that Dare Not Be Spelled renting out the ball.

4) Glare glower charge slap hit scream pull punch punch punch fall stand chug sit fall laugh hug chug chug chug: actions observed at small town bar between two women who are tougher than you are and – though this is as subjective as judgments come – hot.