Genus: hipster

From that bastion of collectivist wisdom, Wikipedia:

"In current parlance it can refer to the way one is dressed and may have connotations involving the circumstances of one's class and identity -- and the glaring contradictions of those circumstances."

Derogatorily:

"identifying that a person may be superficially following recently mass produced, homogeneous, urban fashion trends, overly concerned with their image and the contradictions of their identity, potentially anorexic, disingenuously appropriating a pseudo-artistic image or "a collage of other urban identies" from the past, or simply an elitist. Similar to other social groups, hipsters have been accused of exercising peer pressure to persuade other members of the group to adopt certain attitudes and ideas (e.g., that the music of Steely Dan lacks soul)."
supra.

I kind of like Steely Dan, and I don't not eat, and I don't have an urban domicile, but I do like Pavement, so . . .

"11 Clues You Are a Hipster
1. You graduated from a liberal arts school whose football team hasn't won a game since the Reagan administration.
2. You frequently use the term 'postmodern' (or its commonly used variation 'PoMo') as an adjective, noun, and verb.
3. You carry a shoulder-strap messenger bag and have at one time or another worn a pair of horn-rimmed or Elvis Costello-style glasses.
4. You have refined taste and consider yourself exceptionally cultured, but have one pop vice (ElimiDATE, Quiet Riot, and Entertainment Weekly are popular ones) that helps to define you as well-rounded.
5.You have kissed someone of the same gender and often bring this up in casual conversation.
6. You spend much of your leisure time in bars and restaurants with monosyllabic names like Plant, Bound, and Shine.
7. You bought your dishes and a checkered tablecloth at a thrift shop to be kitschy, and often throw vegetarian dinner parties.
8. You have one Republican friend whom you always describe as being your 'one Republican friend.'
9. You enjoy complaining about gentrification even though you are responsible for it yourself.
10. Your hair looks best unwashed and you position your head on your pillow at night in a way that will really maximize your cowlicks.
11. You own records put out by Matador, DFA, Dischord, Warp, Thrill Jockey, Smells Like Records, Saddle Creek, and Drag City."
12. You have downloaded R. Stevie Moore videos and have attempted to enjoy them.

1. Yes
2. Not outside of a classroom
3. No, though I did inherit J. Jowers's black Gap sholder-strap bag
4. No, unless the MLB counts.
5. Um, no. I absolutely understand lesbianism is how attractive I find woman qua woman.
6. I go to a bar called Carey's but it's named after a family. Does that count?
7. I took my dishes from a garage sale, after being told I could, after offering $.50 for them.
8. On many planes, I am a Republican.
9. I don't live in a state where gentrification is more than a term people who have lived in Minneapolis toss around.
10. Sometimes I don't shower, yes.
11. Yes, not sure, yes, yes, yes, yes, not sure, yes, yes.
12. No. Am i missing something?

I guess this is all to say if you occupy any kind of social position within a state with less than a million people you can't be a hipster. But that's not true, right? If you own a gun and/or belong to a bowling league can you be a hipster? What if you own smallish t-shirts that fit your smallish frame and once had body piercings but now prefer the bar on the edge of town that sells bait to fish for walleye and don't see anything ironic about that? Contrapositive: last Ipod albums purchased: the National, Les Savy Fav, the Clipse, Sparklehorse, Eddie Vedder soundtrack (very very drunk), Aesop Rock, Low, EPMD, Beirut, the Mountain Goats? Where is Chuck Klostermann when you need him?